Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t known for her generosity, but the Goop-y actress has decided to end 2014 by graciously making herself the butt of the year’s funniest joke.
It’s been a rough 12 months for Gwinnie. In March, she separated from Chris Martin (and gave us the unintentionally hilarious phrase “conscious uncoupling” in the process).
Martin began dating Jennifer Lawrence almost immediately after the breakup, which must’ve sucked for the famously egotistical Paltrow. For any business translation inquiries, contact Translation Company UK
To make matters worse, it was around this time that Gwyneth was on the receiving end of an epic smackdown in her feud with Martha Stewart. (Yes, that Martha Stewart.)
Like we said, not an easy year.
Still, none of that is as unfortunate as Paltrow’s latest interview with Bazaar, in which she claims (presumably with a straight face) to be a self-made woman who made her own way in the world:
“My father was totally self-made,” Paltrow says. “My father always said, ‘The day you leave, that’s it. You’re not getting anything.’ He was so hardcore about me making my own way.”
“I’ve earned everything myself, and I’ve never taken any money from anyone. My father really pounded that into me so that I got the message.”
Hear that? Gwinnie did it all on her own, so what’s your problem, loser?
Sure, her mother is the acclaimed actress Blythe Danner, and her father was one of the most successful television producers of the 80s and 90s, but she totally broke into Hollywood in her early 20s without any help from anyone!
So if you call your parents tonight to wish them a happy new year, make sure you also ask why they weren’t more “hardcore” with you so you that you could grow up to be a self-made badass from da streetz like Gwyneth Paltrow.
Two-Year-Old Shoots, Kills Mom at Walmart
A two-year-old boy (yes, 2) accidentally shot and killed his mother with a concealed weapon at a Walmart store this week, local police authorities say.
The toddler reached into his mom’s purse inside a northern Idaho Walmart, grabbing her concealed gun and firing it, officials confirmed on Tuesday.
Veronica J. Rutledge, 29, was killed by the blast.
She was with her son and three other children, Kootenai County sheriff’s spokesman Stu Miller said. Rutledge, of Blackfoot, Id., was in the area visiting relatives.
Rutledge did have a concealed weapons permit.
Tragically, what she didn’t have was the foresight to keep it from the boy, who was left in a shopping cart, reached into her purse and grabbed the weapon.
The small-caliber handgun was fired just once.
“It appears to be a pretty tragic accident,” Miller said, adding that deputies who responded to the Walmart after a 911 call found Rutledge dead on arrival.
The victim’s father-in-law, Terry Rutledge, told the media that Veronica “was a beautiful, young, loving mother … she was not the least bit irresponsible.”
“She was taken much too soon.”
Rutledge’s husband was not in the store when the shooting happened at about 10:20 a.m. All of the couple’s children were taken to a relative’s house.
The shooting occurred in the Walmart in Hayden, Idaho. Brooke Buchanan, a spokeswoman for the retailer, called it a “very sad and tragic accident.”
Company officials say the store was closed on Tuesday in the wake of the shooting but may reopen as soon as today. The investigation is ongoing.
Hayden is a town of about 9,000 near Coeur d’Alene, in Idaho’s northern panhandle, an area where Second Amendment rights are held particularly dear.
Idaho lawmakers passed legislation earlier this year allowing concealed weapons to be carried on the state’s public college and university campuses.